Dear AbbeyJack Questions and Answers
AbbeyJack has received soooo many letters, they had to be indexed. The table below lists the pawer of the letter and topics addressed in the letter. Click on the name to read the letter and AJ's response. At the end of each letter, you can click on "BACK TO TOP" and return to the index.
INDEX of LETTERS/TOPICS
| Holly | Eating rocks | Dooley | Doesn't come when called |
| Tansy J | Humping a blanket | Griffey | Can't be alone with baby |
| Jake | Goldens using human shampoo | Tara (again) | Hyper personality |
| Honey | Bad hips, can't afford surgery | Reilly | Therapy dog groups |
| Sayer | Dogs who run away when off leash | Tara(and again) | Messing in House |
| Rebel | Playing in garbage cans | Bruin | My adoption |
| Toby | Afraid of the water | Maggie May | Scared in the back yard |
| Tara | Behvior problems, hyper personality | Princess | Stealing Dinners |
| Webster | Missing Grandma and Grandpa | Ditto | Aggressive Behavior |
| Sue & Angelo (humans) | Training a young Golden | Rita (human) |
New dog in the family? |
| Jackie | Loves to chew | Sophie | Mine, mine, mine!!! |
| Cody | Couch Potato | Sugar | I bite people |
| Lucy | I eat rocks | Tommy | Playing |
| Maggie | Poop-Eating Dog |
Some suggestions for you parents:
Change your dog food. Sometimes there is a dietary deficiency. But not always
Discuss food additives with your vet. There are some that make your poop less palatable
Distract you with something even better than poop--maybe playing or some really good treats.
Make sure you aren't feeling
stressed. Stress can lead to poop eating.
And most important, remove the poop so you can't eat it. If you are on a leash and poop and then they clean it up, what can you eat????
Good luck my friend. I know that humans truly hate being kissed by poop-breath dogs. I hope you can get over this bad habit soon. Most dogs do in time and with a little help from their families!
AbbeyJack
Hi:
I am a southern guy with great looks and manners, ma'am. However, I never learned to play in my puppyhood - and now I am about 4 years old. When other dogs give me the "let's play signal", I don't catch on right away though eventually I can after a few tries. And I don't catch balls or frizbees or even my kong for filling with with yummy liver pate.
However, being part Scotch collie means I LOVE to run across the fields & in the woods and am pretty good at coming back - unless there is a bunny or deer around (hey, a guy has to have some vices). So how can my folks convince me to fetch when they throw a ball or frizbee so I can run even more?
Dear Tommy,
Well, your folks need to figure out a reward that you are willing to work for (perhaps that liver pate???) and then teach you what to "fetch" actually means. If they put some pate in your Kong and then throw it just a short distance, do you think you would go get it? If so, they can to get it first, then then bring it back to them before getting a reward. Eventually, they could add a command (such as
"fetch" or "go get it"). If they find the correct reward, I'm guessing you can learn! Then they could generalize the command to other toys.
I think I might like to get some liver pate. How can I get my Mom to give me some of that???
AbbeyJack
Dear Abbey Jack,I am a seven month old female and I am always eating rocks. How should I stop this? My parents give me toys to play with, but I still look for rocks.
BACK TO TOP
Lucy
Dear Lucy,
Hmmm. I think you'd better ask your parents for some better toys if they are going to leave you outside. Sounds like you are bored and need a real challenge. My mom often gives us these Kong-things when she leaves for work (even though we're not outside). She fills them with Cheez-whiz and broken pieces of doggie bones that are REALLY hard to get out of the Kong. I never can figure out how she gets them in there so easily, but it takes me forever to get them out.
So, if your parents are going to leave you outside and you are in need of some real entertainment, ask for Kongs stuffed with "stuff". Let me know how you like them!
AbbeyJack
Dear Abbey Jack,
Hi! I am a Golden Retriever female dog named Sugar. I am 1 1/2 years old. I also have two other dogs who live with me: a 4-year-old female Sheltie named Sunni and a 9-year-old male Golden Retriever named Red.
My owner says that I am too aggressive towards people. I have already bitten one person and almost bit another. I have been trained by her for a year in the 4-H project in obedience. I show great skill and always listen, but when someone comes I attack them. I have recently got a barking collar, which doesn't bother me and I don't bark anymore at anything. My owner's parents were going to put me down, but decided to give me one more chance. I don't want to make my owner unhappy, so I wrote to you. Once a friend of my owner's sister's came over and I was ready to attack. My owner held me back and when my owner's sister's friend came up to pet me, I seemed scared. After I figured she was nice I liked her and she didn't bother me.
My owner wants to know if I am acting like this because I am scared? Do I feel I needs to protect my owner? What can she do to solve this problem and save me? Please give my owner and me any solutions that could work.
Thanks,
Sugar
Dear Sugar,
Well, I don't have enough information to tell you WHY you bite people. However, if you broke skin on these people, then you don't have enough "bite-inhibition" and that is a problem. There are lots of folks who work with dogs like you. Often, they will prescribe drugs so that you are less likely to bite another person.
No matter WHY you are biting, your parents need to take you to a really good behavioral clinic for
evaluation. A good behaviorist will give you your only chance to live peacefully with humans. It may be that a program will be designed for you and you will get some drugs to help you. But, you can't let your parents wait. You could seriously hurt someone and then it will be a terrible situation both for you and the human. Please beg them to take you for help NOW.
Good luck my friend.
AbbeyJack
Dear Abbey Jack,
My name is Cody. I just had my birthday on Tuesday and I'm 8 years old now! I came to live with my mommy a few months ago. I love living here and my mom spoils me sometimes. Anyways, she seems to be getting angry
recently because I have started sleeping on my mommy's couch while she's away. The problem is that she taught me how to get up there!! When I first came to live with her, I wouldn't get on the couch and would only sleep on the floor or in bed with her (and I'm allowed in her bed). But then, she said I could come up on the couch when she had a blanket down. Now my mommy isn't very smart and she thought I would understand that I could only go up there when she was
there. But, I tricked her! I sleep on the couch during the day and hop off right when she gets home! She has put wax paper on the couch to scare me but I think it's fun to sleep on it. AbbeyJack, what should my mommy do to convince me to sleep on her bed and not on the couch?
Thanks, Cody
Dear
Cody,
Well, I must say that you certainly do understand your human better than a lot of other dogs! Congratulations. Unfortunately for your mom, there is no way to "convince" you not to get on her couch. A couch (as you just learned) is a VERY comfortable place to sleep and, when your mom is away, it smells like her and so is very comforting. But, the best way keep you off her couch when she isn't there is to put lots of stuff on it so there isn't room
for you to get up there. And, of course, she should consistently keep you off it when she is there. Maybe, eventually, you'll forget about it as an option and learn to sleep on the bed.
Of course, there is an alternative. If she wants you to be able to get on the couch when there is a blanket on it, she could just leave the blanket on it when she isn't there and concede the couch to you. I kinda like that idea myself.
Good luck,
DearAbbeyJack
April 17, 2002
Dear AbbeyJack
My mom said I should talk to you about what she calls my "unGoldenlike" behavior. I'll give you a little of my background if that will help. My parents knew they wanted a Golden Retriever, but they didn't do their research before bringing me home. I was too young to leave my family, but my breeder was selling me and all my siblings anyway. He told my mom I was 8 weeks old, but she found out later he was lying. She called and gave him
a royal butt-chewing. I also came home with two types of mange, worms and two bad hips. I had a rough start but soon I bonded with my family. I was crate trained, but I got to go to Doggie Daycare a lot and I really loved it. I also went to obedience school and they liked me so much I was asked to repeat several classes. I went everywhere with my parents. Anyway, my point is I was well socialized and loved everyone, human and animal. Then I realized it was my house, my Vet's office, my
kennel, my neighborhood, my doggie daycare, my dog park, my Petsmart!! MINE! MINE! MINE! I'M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!! Did I just say that out loud? Well, I decided all other dogs were not to be around me or my "space". Since then my parents haven't taken me to nearly as many places as they used to. I don't even get to go to Grandma's anymore because of my "attitude" towards her dogs. My mom says she's very embarrassed because Goldens are supposed to act a certain
way. My parents wanted another Golden, so they went to the local Golden Retriever rescue and they were approved. In fact, they got to bring a dog home for a sleep over. I showed them how I felt!! I growled and snapped and said what was on my mind. When that dog went out the dog door, I wouldn't let her come back in. My parents still want another Golden, but they don't know if it's a good idea. Please tell my mom that my behavior is perfectly normal. I am a dog after all and to give up
on this "other dog" thing.
Thanks very much,
Her Majesty Sophie
Dear Sophie,
Well, hmmmm. Let's see now. First of all, you don't tell me too much about your behavior except in terms of the new dog that tried to move in. When you say that everything is YOURS, I am not sure how you act that out. I also don't know how old you are, but I'm going to take a stab at this anyway. Since you did not have the benefit of growing up in your litter, I need to tell you a few things about being a dog. We are pack animals. Every member of our pack has a
purpose. I am guessing that you are probably betwen 18 months and 3 years old. That is when we try to work our way up in the pack--try to find our proper place as it were. We push all the limits as we try this out. Kinda like a human adolescent. Anyway, I think you have a more dominant than submissive personality. When the new dog came into your pack, you needed to make it clear just who was in charge. That' s natural. It is a totally fine situation. But, if the other dog is also
dominant and of the same sex (which she was), then working out the pack order can be very nasty for your humans. In my mom's rescue group, they try to know the temperament of both dogs before a placement is made so that they can avoid putting two dominant dogs in the same household. Then they work with the new owners to solve any situations that arise. Your parents need to work with you with a behaviorist. Although temperament is innate, your environment has everything to do with how
that develops into your personality. You had a bad start because of your "breeder". Now your parents need to help you. In most cases, aggresion is a learned behavior. I suggest your parents find a good behaviorsit in your area to help them. My mom says they can contact her at her e-mail address if they like (grrowls@aol.com) and she can make some
suggestions. And Sophie, you are being a dog. You sound just like my sister who is DEFINITELY the queen of my world (after my mom, of course). Good luck!!!! I hope you get an new pack member. We all need a good pack.
AbbeyJack
Dear AbbeyJack,
I am a 1 1/2 year old female Golden. I have lived with my mom, dad, 8yr old human sister, and 6 yr old human brother since I was a pup. Mom had me spayed by my Doc as soon as I was old enough, and I go see him twice a year like a good doggie. But my buddy the Doggie Doctor can't seem to help my mom out with me on one thing.....I chew. Anything. Toys, the human kids toes, furniture.... My mom buys me big rawhide chew toys (which I love), but for some reason, I
prefer to hide these in my crate for "night chewing" and work on my mom's stuff during the day. She has tried to keep chewable things out of my path, and we have been doing really well, but now that it is warm here in Buffalo, I have been going outside in the yard. We have a GIANT yard, and I run and play with my humans and my grandma(she owns the house we live in)'s doggy, Elmo. And lately, I have been chewing the siding off the house. BIG pieces. My mom thought I was bored,
but even if she takes me out to pee, goes upstairs, and brings me in or comes out to play within 5 minutes, I am sitting in the yard, feasting on vinyl siding. And my grandma is MAD!!! Her dog never chews anything, Mr. Perfect that he is. Can you help me out and give me and my mom some suggestions? She would never give me up or anything like it, since we are buddies and she'd rather move than be without me. But she is getting sick of getting in trouble for my wandering teeth, and has
told me that the doggy toy supply will run thin if she has to keep buying new siding. Help!!!
Sincerely in trouble,
Jackie
Jackie,
My, my, my you are what we call a busy, busy, busy girl!!! You need to be doing something ALL the time. I've known a few foster dogs like you. The good news is that you will probably grow out of this behavior in the next year or two. The bad news is that your humans are going to really have to contain you until you do. First, you need to be crated whenever the humans can't pay attention to you. Second, when they FIRST come home and let you out (not after peeing or 5
minutes even) they need to run you ragged. Anybody in your family a runner? My sister loved it when someone lived with us who ran 5 miles every day. She never got into any trouble at all. She was too tired. Or maybe they could just throw a toy for you for about thirty minutes straight. Whatever, they need to make sure that your energy level is down before they leave you to entertain yourself. You're kinda like a kid with ADHD (there goes my mom's psychology $.02 again)--you NEED
stimulation from outside yourself. I know that there are vets who will prescribe drugs to help you, but I am betting your family can handle it. It sounds like they love you to bits (and a lucky dog you are too). They just need to understand how busy you need to be and get in the habit of helping you out before they take care of themselves. Let me know how they do!
AbbeyJack
Dear AbbeyJack,
We are a family of 2 adults, 2 children ages 5 and 3, 2 cats and 1 beautiful 7 year old golden retriever. We would like to adopt a golden, and are wondering how older dogs adjust to having a new member added to the family. Spenser is extremely attached and devoted to us. I would appreciate your advice. I am home with the children, so I have time to spend with the dogs.
Rita
Dear Rita:
Well, I am usually allowed to respond only to DOGS, but I think this is an important question for all of us dogs to understand. Basically, as "pack animals" we like to be with others in our pack. The problems arise when we are mismatched. For example, two aplha dogs of the same sex are going to do a lot of fighting before they figure out the pack order. Spenser needs to know if he is a dominant or submissive dog and whether or not he is an aplha dog.
Then, you need to know what the other dog is that you might want to introduce into your pack. If Spenser is submissive, there probably won't be too many problems. When in doubt, get a dog of the opposite sex to cut down on potential pack order problems. I'd recommned finding a GOOD rescue organization or breeder that can tell you the temperament of the dog you want to adopt and a canine behaviorist to evaluate Spenser if you can't quite figure him out! Good luck
AbbeyJack
Dear Abbey:
My name is Ditto and since I was a puppy 61/2 years ago, I have periodically displayed some aggressive/possessive behavior. If I had a toy or other object that I did not want to give up, I would snap at my master. He taught me to sit/stay and then drop. Then he would go into another room and call me to Come. I would come as all good dogs would and then he would reward me with a treat and praise me for coming. He would then put me in a sit/stay and then he would get my
toy. I got into this routine and I am pretty happy with it. Also since puppyhood I have been frightened by strange noises or sights. When Dad takes me for my morning 2 mile walk, mostly off leash, I sometimes get frightened by the sounds of heavy equipment or other unusual sounds. If I see someone on a roof, I realize they are not supposed to be up there and it bothers me. I get scared and run right to my Daddy. He then puts me on the leash and I drag him home. Sometimes Daddy thinks
this is funny but maybe I have some type of disorder that leads to aggression. Last week when Daddy was treating me for a hot spot on my belly, I was at my limit and attacked him. I bit him once in the left forearm, inflicting a deep puncture wound and once in the right arm inflicting another puncture wound. I just could not control myself. Normally, I am a very gentle, loving dog and very obedient. I love people and especially children. I am afraid I might lose my composure and attack
Mommy or Daddy or even worse, a child. I have a great home, a nice back yard where I run free. I take long walks off leash every day and when we go to camp, I have complete freedom but I don't like to go off our property unless Mommy or Daddy takes me for a walk. I eat three cups of dry lamb rice food each day and about once a week I get a rawhide flip chip. I love to play ball and fetch and I have lots of toys. I don't want to have a temper tantrum again and I certainly don't want to
bite anybody again. I just need to learn how to control my aggressive behavior. Any advice and guidance is appreciated. Maybe my masters just need to be better educated on how to deal with my split personality. HELP!!
Thank you, Ditto
Dear Ditto:
If this is truly a case of what you call "split personality" you may have a very dangerous genetic disorder that humans call "Rage Syndrome". Neither you nor your family can "train" you not to have this problem. You need to get your family to take you to the Cornell behavioral clinic. Sometimes they can give dogs some medication to help control these sudden, inexplicable urges to attack others. Please, get some help soon so that no one
gets seriously injured. It isn't your fault nor is it your owners' faults. I would be willing to bet that there is a history of problems in your "dog family" and your breeder should have been more careful. Regardless, get help soon, Ditto.
Good luck buddy,
AbbeyJack
Dear AbbeyJack,
Hi, I"m Princess and I'm a good sized and good weighed goldie. Ummm, I have a little problem, lately I've been eating my family's dinners if they're left unattended. I've given 2 cups of dry dog food and a can of canned dog food. I used to not to eat too much and now I"m a piggy. I also broke the gate and went potty twice during the day when everyone's out. So, I'm not sure what's my problem... I cough sometimes, actually, hard because
several times my family got worried and thought i was going to throw up.. can you please help me? Today I was given an extra cup and still ate a burrito.
Princess
Dear Princess,
Hmm, I may need a little more info about you. I am not sure how long it was that you "did not eat too much" . How long have you lived with your family? Do they feed you twice a day (morning and night?) Actually, food left unattended certainly SEEMS like it was meant for us to eat. Heck, why else would it be there anyway? Maybe your family needs to understand that it is pretty normal for a dog to eat food that is just hangin'
around! As far as breaking the gate goes and getting out, I may need a little more info here too. If you are eating more than usual (and people food at that), you may have to eliminate more than usual. However that, combined with the cough, could indicate other physical problems that you can't seem to communicate to your family. Here is what I recommend you get your family to do: (1)take you to the vet to be sure there are no physical problems. Cough more if you have to so
they will take you; (2) suggest ( how I am not sure) they feed you twice a day (after all they eat three times a day) (3) make them put unattended food out of your reach--keep eating it until they get the idea!; and (3) if you are still having "accidents" after you are no longer eating their food and your health has been cleared, them give them this message--get you a crate. You need a room of your own in which you can stay when they are not around. Hopefully they
aren't usually gone more than 7 or 8 hours a day. But, if they are, you will be safe and secure (and well-behaved) in your room until they arrive home. Let me know how things go!
AbbeyJack
8/19/00
Hi Jack,
My name is Bruin. We've never met. My foster mom set up this Yahoo! account for me 'cause she says I am one. That's good, right? Anyway, 2 things. My foster sister Max has told me about a party you have at your lakeside estate each summer. She is planning to go and show off her new swimming skills. Well, I
just learned to swim too!! Can I come to your party, too? I love parties! And I really want to meet you and all the other dogs. Max says she thinks it's just for dogs who already have permanent homes :(. That's the other thing I want to ask you. I've been here in foster for seven months now - that's almost longer than anywhere I've ever been! I like it and don't want to leave, and no one else seems
to want me 'cause I eat things. My foster mom says I'm her best running buddy EVER, I run at heel no matter what and look good doing it (she says). I've been trying real hard not to eat things like phones, shoes, books, glasses, etc. At least, I think I could get to where I won't eat things like that. Can you talk to her? She likes you and maybe if you tell her then she'll let me stay. I
jump into her lap and roll over onto my back and tell her EVERY DAY that I want to be adopted. Please help me, Jack!
Your friend,
Bruin
Dear Bruin,
Are you sure we haven't met? Seems like I've heard your name a LOT! Hmm. I even think I have heard my Mom say that she hopes your foster Mom will want to adopt you because she seems to think you are a wonderful guy. Could I have heard this right? You tell me you are a yahoo that eats things, but my Mom says that your foster Mom thinks you are wonderful???? Well, I know that Max is allowed to bring
you to the picnic as her guest. So, I think that we will finally meet. Maybe then I can figure out if I have all the facts clear here. If I am right about what your Foster Mom has said about you,. I am betting that your adoption is a done deal!!!! When we meet at the picnic, I'll give you the low-down. Looking forward to meeting you.
Oh, PLEASE don't eat my Mom's glasses--they're brand new.
AbbeyJack
8/19/00
Hi! My name is Maggie, and I'm a seven year old golden/yellow lab mix. You might remember me, I think I was at your house during one of my many trips. You see, I was kind of a problem before. I grew up in a barn, so I didn't really learn to live in a house very well. I was adopted a couple of
times, but it didn't work out. Luckily, you and the other GRROWLS people didn't give up on me, and you sent me to live with my new Mom & Dad & sister Tasha. (She was adopted from GRROWLS, too, but she probably won't ever have to write to you. She's the perfect one.) It took me quite a while to catch on that it was safe to go outdoors & pee, but now I know it's OK as long as Mom is there. This works fine for me, but Mom
would like me to be able to go out without her. You see, when winter comes, she would like to be able to just open the door & let me out, while she stays warm in the house. I'd like to help her out, and I know that I'm safe in my backyard, but it's still pretty scary to be out there without her. Do you think there is anything she can do to help me not get scared? Tasha never gets scared, but I need my Mom in order to feel safe. Mom says
that she's not really complaining, because I've come such a long way already, and this would be the icing on the cake, whatever that means. So, what do you think? Thanks for everything,
Maggie May Northrup
Dear Maggie May,
Well, you've really got me scratching my ear on this one (or is that a hot spot?). Anyway, here's what I'm thinking. I 'm guessing you don't have a room of your own (crate) to make you feel safe. Why don't you ask for one for your birthday (if you know it) or some other holiday (like GRROWLS picnic day)? If your Mom could try just
standing in the doorway and watching you for, say 10 minutes, and reward you with her attention and by bringing you back in as soon as you pee, that would be a start. If you don't feel safe enough to pee at the end of the 10 minutes, she could put you in your room to feel safe for 5 or 10 minutes, then try you outside again. Eventually, your Mom could maybe hide behind a curtain and watch you and then try the same routine. Although this will be hard work and
very time consuming for your Mom, it sounds like she has certainly been up to the all the work needed since you moved in! Oh, by the way, I think the icing on the cake is some kind of reference to winter, don't you?
Good Luck,
Dear AbbeyJack
7/16/00
Abbey:
Uh oh, I think I'm in a big trouble!!! I made a mess in the house for the 9th time since July '99. My granddad kept threatening my mom and dad that he would return me to you. I can't help it if my grandparent forgets to close the doors to the nicer parts of the house! I usually stay in the kitchen and den but nothing else. I don't do anything
in my parents' bedrooms. I'm very good about it. My trainer told my mom that the only way I can stop is that if she caught me in the act which is impossible because everyone's at work! Now, my granddad wants me to stay outside. My mom thinks that I can stay out during the day by myself and come in when everyone's home.. Why can't I stop going to potty in the other parts of the house??? What is my problem? I love my family too much to leave!! Help!!!
Tara Puppy Honey
Tara Puppy Honey,
Okay, it sounds like you need a secure cave of your own. My mom says that being left outside alone when no one is at home is dangerous. Someone could come and offer you a ride (and you know how much we all love to ride) and then take you away from your parents forever. My mom says that's how some dogs end up in rescue, but others end up in a terrible place called a laboratory. Instead, get you mom to buy you a crate. She
can get you used to it slowly. Put dog bones in it and let you go in and out. Pretty soon you will learn to love it as your own private space. And, believe me, you won't mess in it. It's yours and it's small. Never again will you be reprimanded when someone comes home. Instead, you will be greeted with love and hugs and will immediately go outside to do your duties. Just think, a room of your own. It's so cool. Your humans have their own rooms, so they really should give you the same
(and you don't have to let them sleep in your room at night, either).
AbbeyJack
AbbeyJack!
My Mom and I are were excited to have found the GRROWLS website and especially your column. Because we are pretty new to all this cyberspace stuff, Mom, Dad, and I really had no idea how many great people and organizations there are across the country to help out any of "us" who need help. We found out about you after Mom joined the Hobbes List. There was a great post on the "List" this morning by
Ollie. His therapy visit story sounded sooooo GReat that I told Mom "Me too! Me too! ?? We live in Westchester/Putnam Cnty in NY and would like to know if you can tell us about any Therapy Dog groups anywhere close to us. My Mom says I might be a good man for this type of job (that is if we can find someplace where we can be trained and meet some others who know how to bring some GOLDEN sunshine to those in need) I just love people, but I still get very excited whenever I meet
anyone for the first time! I haven't been to any classes since puppy kindergarten, (I'm a very puppylike 8 yrs young) so Mom says not to get too disappointed if I'm not right for this job. ( I really would try hard to learn though ... I always aim to please! (Don't we all?) Any information you could provide would be just GReat. Thanks Buddy! Reilly ~ ( and Mom too! )
P.S. Mom told me to ask if there are any GRrowls people in our area as well. Maybe she could contact them too!
Reilly,
So glad you found the website and also read about my friend Ollie. Ollie told me to tell you that he is certified through Therapy Dogs International. Their website is www.tdi-dog.org. There are other groups out there, but that's the one whose test he took. But, here are some things you can practice for the test: sit, down, stay, come, allow a freindly stranger to approach, allow the stranger to shake hands with your mom (or dad) and pet
you, allow yourself to be examined (ears, feet, tail--the usual human invasiveness), be nice to a friendly dog, walk through a crowd of rowdy people (and keep your dignigty), loose leash walk and do turns with the person on the other end of the leash, and be comfortable with a stranger for a few minutes when you are alone with her/him. You also should not be afaid of wheelchairs, crutches and the like. I'll bet you can do it pal!!! I still can't manage not to be spooked by wheelchairs,
but I'm trying. My mom says the info on GRROWLS volunteers in your area has already been sent to your mom. Hope to see you at an "event" sometime!!
Abbey Jack
BACK TO TOP
1/24/00
Hey Jack!
Ummm...my name is Tara (as you see it's very pretty name! and so am I) I have some problems here....
1. I went to this big red building with some dogs I never saw before and my mom keeps saying "down and stay" I'm good at that whenever we are alone. But our trainer keeps watching us, Mom doesn't mind and I do. I keep messing up.
I
get bored really easily in that class. I'm tired of my treats and one day, I was allowed to bring my ball! It worked half of the time. But I don't listen, I want to play but Mom doesn't want me to. It's sooooo boring, why do I have to take these "sit, stay, down and heel" class? I'm glad that it's over but I wonder why i have to take it. I have a feeling that I'll be going
back in the spring.... how can I get out of this messy situtation?
2.
My grandparents got like these brand-new furniture and I'm not supposed to drool on it like I used to. How can I tell them that I want to play if I can't drop my balls on the furniture?
3. I peed in the house like 6 times since July. I don't bark or anything to tell my parents that I need to go out. But, they're getting frustrated with me since I don't do anything except just standing by the door. They usually assumed that I just want to play. Also, my
parents are going to start hanging out in the basement where the TV is and I've already peed in there twice, now
I'm forbidden to go down since they can't trust me to stay clean. I want to go down there too but how can I stop sniffing from the preivous owner's dogs? I really want to go down since there's barely any room to move around in the den, there's much more room down there. How they can make it dog free scented room? (there's carpeting, you
know) and they have to get up like 6 in the mornings to take me out before I make a single mess! I want them to relax!
4. Last but not the least, I'm personally hyper! How can I calm myself??? They're usually too busy doing their homwork in the afternoons and I need like a hour of exercise. How can I keep myself moving if they can't play with me too much in the winter? (I ahve to admit that those class really tired me out!!!)
Thanks for the session.
I hope that I will speak to you.....I love your name....I'm a purebred golden you know. I'm slender...(they always say that I'm too skinny! another problem there-I don't like too many dog food, I've
tried Iams, Science Diet and Pierdegree(however you spell it) Got any tasty suggestions?)
Tara "Puppy" Honey
(I'm three now!) >>
Dear Tara "Puppy"
Honey,
Whew, you sure are hyper!! All that stuff in just one letter. But, never fear, we can work with these humans of yours.
1. I talked with my sister about that training thing. She too went to training and hated it. She thought it was terribly dumb. Magic (my sister) also would only do all those stupid things if mom took a toy (preferably a ball) with her. No foodworked. However, I really don't think you're messing up. It is my understanding that
those classes are more about teaching your mom what to do so she can communicate better with you. Be patient with her. She needs to learn how to tell you what she wants from you. I know you only want to do what she wants, but she may not be so good at it yet. Give her time.
2. Now this is one of those very difficult human problems. They think that we can understand the concept of "you can do this on this furniture (or whatever), but not on this
one." Let me tell you, that is a very longterm learning process. It is much easier for us to learn either it is okay in general, or it is not. If they can make a rule you can learn, you will find a way to ask them to play. Good luck!
3. There are all these sprays that are supposed to stop the smells in rugs, but I think it would be better if your parents got you a crate. Crates are great for learning to control yourself. You can be in the room with
them, but not tempted by that rug. If you have problems, they can put you in your crate until you learn better ways to control your urges. Personally, I don't think that you can't learn to live with the smells, you just need their help to learn a little more self-control and crates are wonderful caves that you can use to help you.
4. You need and deserve that hour of play, winter or summer. They need to find a way to keep warm while they play with
you. I am 10 yearsold now and my mom takes me for a walk in the morning and then throws my toys in the snow in the afternoon while she moves wood or does some other chore. This you deserve and must demand. Golden Retrievers are active dogs. Unfortunately, many of us come to the rescue because our owners can't give us what we need and we seem "hyper". Jeez, we're just happy, playful, active dogs! Oh, my mom feeds me Nutro Max and I just love it!
Good
luck and let me know how your parents do in obedience training!
AbbeyJack
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1/18/2000
Dear AbbeyJack,
Hi, remember me? We met over the holidays when you came to Buffalo..I did not think I would need to write to you as I am a good girl but Mom seems worried and you know how Moms are. The problem is that this morning at 6:30 a.m. I threw up four rocks (three small ones and one not so small). Is
this a behavioral problem or a physical one (or one that I will eventually out grow because as a retriever I am technically a puppy until I act otherwise). I was adopted into this family two months ago and have an older golden brother to play with during the day when Mom and Dad are at work. Mom and Dad are very loving to me and give me lots of attention when they are home and I am not busy playing with my brother Tyler. I get long walks during the week and long runs at the park on
weekends, so I don't think I do this freaky thing out of boredom. I have seen my brother bring his rock treasures into the house and if he doesn't bury them behind the couch cushions, mom takes them away from him. She can only take my rocks away from me after they exit my stomach (she doesn't know they are there). The rocks come from the walkway in the backyard that leads to the side door where we enter (to have our muddy feet cleaned), so it will be almost impossible to solve this
problem by removing the stones before spring when my Dad can work in the yard and maybe get rid of the stones. I really don't want the rocks to make me sick, but I don't know how to stop eating these tasty morsels. Please help. Your furry friend, Holly
Dear Holly,
Yes, I remember you! Nice to hear from you. Personally, I have never found rocks appetizing, but I sure do love to eat wood!! I often throw that back up for my Mom to see also. I do know a little about your background and I know that you were kept in a kennel with no toys for quite some period of time. I am guessing that this may just be a bad habit that you have developed from when you were so bored in the kennel and had
nothing else to do. At least you are mostly throwing them up. Of course it is possible that one of those stones might cause you a digestive tract problem, so you may want to ask your parents to find something you really dislike the taste of to put on those stones until you learn not to ingest them when you pick them up. I know there are some things made for that purpose. I don't think there is any other way for you to stop this kind of habitual, possibly obsessive behavior, at this
point. You just need to learn that these stones are bad for you and tasting bad will probably do that. Let me know how it goes!
AbbeyJack
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1/18/2000
Dear AbbeyJack,
I don't quite understand the bad times you had, but it sure sounds like you have a good life now. I wish I lived next to a lake. Well, here's my question. My Mom and Dad have this nice brown fleecy throw blanket that they or my little human sister sometimes snuggle under when they're watching TV or that sort of thing. I just *love* that blanket. If it gets left lying on the sofa, I like to drag it
onto the floor and hump it like crazy. I don't hump anything else at all - well except, occasionally another dog, if I think I can get away with it. Usually not though, because I think the world's a pretty threatening place, don't you? Well, I'm not quite sure why I have to hump that blanket, and it sorta bothers me. Do you or your Mom have any insights that might help me? (Oh, I'm a 6.5 year-old spayed golden retriever girl, red-coloured except that I'm getting a very white face
lately, and I've lived with my human family since I was 7 weeks old, they tell me. My Mom says I've always been kind of a fraidy-cat, and I think it's very important to bark at strangers. My cat loves that blanket too, but he just likes to sleep on it.)
Tansy J, Prince Rupert, British Columbia
Tansy J,
Hmm, that must be some blanket!!! I guess you must really be excited by all the wonderfull smells on it that your family leaves there. Why does that bother you? Oh, I'll bet it bothers your family, really. They think that what you're doing is kinda weird (humans don't actually understand that humping other dogs is play and that we sometimes hump when we are excited). It's hard to stop those excited play instincts, especially when
you love the smells of your family so much. Actually, since you respect your family so much (obviously you do because you don't hump THEM), the blanket is not such a bad thing to hump. Here's my advice: if your family doesn't mind that you are excited by their scents and are playing with the blanket in a very dog-like manner, then don't let it bother you. Go for it. However, if they insist that you not do this, as they have probably insisted with the humping-other-dogs-play, then you
need to control your urges and find a new outlet for your excitement. Good luck. I'm no allowed to make any suggestions for other outlets for your excitement, but I do know some good ones!!!
AbbeyJack
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1/18/2000
Hi Abbey,
My name is Honey and I'm a golden. I was living in NYC with a family who was in the middle of a divorce. The woman was going to abandon me in the park because she didn't want to take me to a shelter where I might be killed. Anyway, she asked a guy on the street for help with me and he told a friend and that friend called up a friend in the suburbs. The family in the suburbs was looking for another dog to
play with their boy golden Willie. The woman in the house couldn't stand for a golden to be abandoned and took me in. She had a conversation with the city woman's ex-husband who said a vet had told him to put me to sleep because my hips are so bad (what does put to sleep mean). This guy did not put me to sleep but he also never took me to a vet again, so it had been 2 years since I had been to a vet. The suburb woman took me to the vet and got me my shots, etc. The suburb family is
very nice and they like me alot, so does Willie (my new friend). My new family had xrays taken of my hips and guess what (they're pretty bad), I need surgery!! We're going to see an orthepedic surgeon on 1/10/00, but we're pretty sure I'll need both hips done. My new family can't afford this and so I'm writing to you to ask you if you know of any way to obtain funds for help with expensive surgery like this. Or maybe a learning hospital where it may be not so expensive. Your story was
interesting to read. I'm sorry you had such a tough start, but I'm glad you're ok now. Good luck to you and happy new year. At least we dogs don't need to worry about Y2K!! Take care.
Honey
Dear Honey,
My mom says there are many vets that will help you out in a case like this. My friend Uncle Sherman had to have his hips fixed and the vet that works for GRROWLS did a great job and it wasn't real
expensive. Please have your mom contact my mom and she'll help out. She's real cool!! Oh, my mom is at GRROWLS@aol.com (where do you supose that is? I thought she was right here).
AbbeyJack
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1/14/2000
Dear Abbey-Jack,
We (my boyfriend and myself) purchased a 6 week old golden retriever from a family in Angola, NY. He is a great puppy but we have a few concerns. He is now almost 9 weeks old.
1. The owners requested that we sign a document stating that they were not guaranteeing the puppies for hip dysplasia. The explanation given was they feared future law suits should the puppy develop hip dysplasia.
2. House training is going fairly well, yet sometimes he goes outside then comes in to pee. This does not seem to be connected to bad weather, in fact he loves the cold and being outside.
3. Despite approximately 20 different types of teething/chew toys, he prefers my forearm or my hands and fingers.
4. During playtime, fetching, petting (we don't tug-of-war), he gets very aggressive and can't control his biting. He attacks stuffed animals as if he wants to kill them, growling and humping in almost a hyperactive manner.
I have raised a chocolate lab (female, who still lives here) and a Rottweiler (who no longer lives here). Only the Rottweiler showed such strong willed behavior and my understanding was that golden retrievers were more even tempered. We are hoping that all of this is just puppy excitability and teething. He is never left home alone more than 4 hours at a time, we crate him at night and periodically during the day. He really loves his crate and sleeps 7 hours at night,
no problem. In an attempt to correct the biting we have tried a firm deep "No!", substituting chewing objects, time outs in his crate, planned ignoring, grabbing the skin on the back of the neck and growling. Sometimes he won't let go and clamps down harder, sometimes he just gets wilder and wiggles out of control growling and angry. He has learned to sit, go up and down stairs, 50% of the time scratch or whine at the back door to go outside, come, fetch, and almost lay down.
We appreciate your help and want for him to grow up healthy and well adjusted.
Thank you, Susan and Angelo
Dear Susan and Angelo,
Normally, I don't write to humans, but you have a very big problem here and it needs to be addressed quickly. I suspect you did not get Niki from a reputable breeder. No breeder worth her/his weight in salt would have you sign a paper that says there is no guarantee
against hip dysplasia. Also, 6 weeks is too young to take a dog out of its litter. As far as the house training goes, that is really a minor thing. You need to go out with him and give him positive reinforcement when he pees outside. He is still young and may not be mature enough to totally get the point as yet, so be patient. The real concern is the aggressive behavior. Find someone to evaluate him and work with him. If this breeder is as bad as she/he sounds, then temperament was not
taken into consideration when this litter was bred. If there are innate (born with them) problems, you can make some correction with proper behavioral programs, but you need to work with a behaviorist that really understands what is going on. When Niki is full grown, you aren't going to be able to stop him from really hurting someone if he wants to, so you need to stop that behavior NOW. If you need the name of a good behaviorist and tranier, contact the Golden Retriever Club of
Western NY. We work closely with them and they are a dedicated group of breeders and trainers. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
AbbeyJack
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Dear Abbeyjack,
I have a new, well, he's not 'new', he's five years old, dog brother (hey, don't knock my wording and composition - I'm a dog, remember). My mom and I have a problem with him because he is what she calls a 'runner'. When Mom
lets me out of the house to do my business, I stay right in the yard, come when called and can be trusted (Gold stars for me!). My adopted brother, on the other hand, has to have a leash on before he gets
out of the door. If not, he
takes off to explore the neighborhood and I am afraid for him. In the summer, while we live on a lake, we are also on a very busy road and I don't want to lose him or see him get hurt. You see, he is a good brother in all, well, most all,
other ways - in other words, he let's me get to the food bowl first! At our winter home, we have a fenced yard, but the problem there is, he likes to dig out under the fence. So Abbeyjack, do you have some
help for us?
Love,
Sayer
Dear Sayer,
I am not sure what kind of help you want, buddy. The fact is that we are dogs. Of course we can learn what it is that our people want us to do, especially when those people are clever enough to figure out what we REALLY like as
rewards. However, choosing to stay close to our humans, even when outside, is never really something that we might not be distracted from doing. Even the
best of us can be enticed to act like your brother. For example, we have a
rabbit that lives by our house. When that rabbit runs down the side of our house and out across the street, I chase it. After all I am a DOG and dogs chase rabbits (and cats, and squirrels, and, well you understand I'm sure. If it runs, give it a good chase!). Of course, I am usually sharing a leash with my mom or I come to the fence and have to stop, but I sure do try to give chase!
So, perhaps your
brother is simply more distractible than you are, although for sure we are all distractible to a certain degree. My mom has a book called the DSM that helps her figure out why some humans act differently than others.
One thing I remember her talking about is Attention Deficit Disorder. Maybe Jake is like that and has trouble when he is outside. He gets distracted by EVERYTHING, not just a rabbit or a squirrel. If that's the case, then at least
having a leash on reminds him to
stay close to his human when he forgets. So why is that such a bad thing?
If he is more likely than you to be distracted, then he is safe on his leash. Your mom should do whatever she can to remind him to stay close so that he is safe from things like that busy road out there or some people who might hurt him. If he digs out of the fence, maybe you and your mom should get him one of those electric fences. Then he will have another reminder--the warning sound from his collar--to
keep him safe along with the fence.
I hope I've helped, friend, 'cause your brother sounds like a guy who needs a LOT of help in paying attention to what your mom wants from him. Give him a lick on the nose for me and tell him to pay better attention to things!!
AbbeyJack
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Dear Abbey Jack,
I really like to play with the garbage can in the kitchen. I have such a great time, however, when my mommy comes home for lunch she gets really mad at me for spreading all the garbage on the floor. Now, they put the garbage can
outside before they leave for the day. I was having such a great time. Now what do I do for fun during the day?
Signed - "Rebel without a Garbage Can"
Dear
"Rebel without a Garbage Can",
Whew, you are lucky your family didn't decide to limit YOU instead of the garbage can. If they had discovered crates or baby gates, you might be watching that garbage can from a distance every day and pining for it! Anyway, you need to take your family shopping for some chew bones or buddahs or fuzzy toys that will keep you company while they are away. I know
how you feel. I think the paper in my mom's office basket is the best!
Spreading it around and shredding it is great fun. So is watching her clean it up. But I don't think humans find as much joy in this process as we do. So, chew your own toys and have them take you to the store to pick out the ones you like best!
AbbeyJack
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Dear AbbeyJack,
My name is Toby. I believe we have met once or twice, when you graciously hosted the rescue picnics at your lakeside estate. I admire your well-developed swimming abilities. I am having some difficulty with getting used to the water
at my advanced age (11). However, my new pack also has a little doghouse on a lake and my human likes to go in the water. I love to wade in, and so far this year I have got all the way to
shoulder-deep, and let waves break over my
back. It is very exciting. How to I go from this point to getting the paws up and paddling? No matter what, I seem to just freeze and can't lift a paw. Any tips are welcome.
I do have one other question for you -As you may have noticed, I have my very own e-mail account. I have moved into this new pack (2 humans, 2 sisters (ugh!)) at an advanced age, but have got up-to-speed on all these new technologies right quick. I am quite
proud of this achievement, and am certain that if I did not help my human at the computer when she works from home that she would not be nearly so productive. I wish I could go to the office with her, but many times when she goes she takes a 'plane' whatever that is. I think it's like a car but has windows that don't open. Anyway, I have noticed that you
are using your Mom's e-mail account (I have traded e-mails with her as well) for this column of yours. Why don't you have your own
account? I think that as a celebrity in your own right, you certainly should have the status of a private account, no? Well, off to beg for a little dessert. Hope to see you soon, my friend.
Toby
PS - I understand you have met one of our kind named Mickey. At one time I was prepared to put him up here for a while, then I heard he had some problems and would be delayed for a while. I have not had any news of
him for
a week or so and was wondering how he is doing. If you have any update on his condition, please let me know. My whole pack is concerned for him.
Dear Toby,
You know, I didn't know how to swim when I came here either. But I was a whole lot younger than you are now. I must say that my mom was none too gentle. She simply pushed me off the dock when my sister jumped in after a toy. You know, it was sink or swim! Before that, I
would often stand in the water and move one front leg, but didn't know how to move all of them when I still had ground under them! Maybe your mom could carry you out into the deep water and let you see what it feels like. It might be scary at first, but I bet you will like it. Just keep any overactive youngsters from swimming over the top of you. That is not too fun.
Also, I now have my own e-mail address--my letters were clogging up mom's account!
AbbeyJack
PS.
Mickey is doing fine and will be going to his new home on Monday. We turned him right around!!! BTW, he doesn't go in the water at all!
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Dear AbbeyJack,
I am a nine year old Golden who lives with my Mom and Dad near Atlanta,Georgia. I love them and they really love me too. My problem is that I have a Grandma and Grandpa who live in Michigan. We visit them sometimes and they love me lots too. Everybody in my family wants me to hug them and lick them cause I'm such a good boy. But when we go back to my house in Georgia I miss my Grandma and Grandpa so much. barking at them over
the phone just doesn't cut it...if you know what I mean. My Mom is nice cause she helps me and we email my Grandma and Grandpa and sometimes send them
love cards. Do you think I will ever get over missing my Grandma and Grandpa?
Webster
Dear Webster,
No, no, no--you will never, and should never, get over missing them. It is wonderful to have relatives to go and visit. You should be very happy to have
them. I just love going to visit relatives and friends. And, even though you miss
them when they are not around, you can dream about them and see them in your sleep (which takes up a large part of the day and night) so that you will remember them the next time you go to Michigan. I'll bet you could even kiss them in your dreams! Wish I had grandparents in Michigan (BTW, what and where is Michigan?)
AbbeyJack
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Dear Abbey Jack,
I am a 5 year old Golden Yahoo. Well at least that is what my mom calls me among lots of other names. Most of them are good names. She adopted me about 3 years ago and so she does not know what I went through those first two years of my life. It was terrible. It was so terrible I just try to block it out. All I can remember now is that I was picked up twice by someone with a truck and put in a cage. I have a happy home now and I know that
my mom loves me, she takes me to the park really early in the mornings so I can get a good run on the weekends. She works during the week so doesn't have time to do that then., but I get a good walk on leash during the week. I wish there was some way that I could get out and be free all the time. I never stay away too long, only a few minutes that I am out of her sight. She has told me that I must come when I am called, but I just get so excited when I am free and I don't hear her the
first time. Well maybe the 2nd and 3rd time too. She is so afraid that I am going to get into trouble I guess. She just bought me a new car so that I can have my own window. The only thing is that I am so far away from her. I can't get in the front seat now next to her. I get so excited when I see another dog while we are in the car I guess I barked too loud so that is why she has confined me to the "back of the bus". Last summer she took me for runs up on top of a mountain.
It was wonderful. All the smells, and open space, I just loved that. We haven't been there yet this year, sure hope she can buy a mountain for me to run in all the time. Another thing is that she is talking about going back to classes again. Pooey! She thinks that will help with getting me to come when I am called! Little does she know I like to go to see all the other dogs and harrass them. Of course that is just for fun, my tail is always wagging. People do not understand me and I
think other dogs don't either. Any suggestions you have Abbey Jack?
Dooley
Dear Dooley,
Okay, I am not sure what you need suggestions with. I can't help your mom buy a mountain so that part's out. As far as going to classes again, it sounds like your mom knows that SHE needs to learn stuff so that's why she is going back to school. Of course, she needs you to learn so you have to go too. I suspect that learning how to make you come when she calls you really will be to your advantage since she is more likely to sense the mostly human-created dangers out
there than you are. When you say that other dogs don't understand you, I have to wonder to what you are referring. You see, we know how to read each other quite clearly. Unlike humans, we simply read each other's postures and know how we fit together. Sometimes we need to have a little "pack order" dispute, but that usually gets resolved fairly quickly. What is it that you do that is misunderstood? If you think that you are "harassing" other dogs in fun, then you
probably need to have a few dogs explain doggy manners to you. Or maybe your mom can help out and that is why she is going back to classes. Sounds like your mom is right on track buddy! Anyway, maybe you weren't allowed to be around other dogs much when you were a pup and didn't learn really good dog manners. Going back to class may help you learn those manners and teach your mom how to help you learn them as well. Good luck and let me know how it goes!
AbbeyJack
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Dear AbbeyJack,
I am a 4 year old golden retriever named Griffey. My mom and dad rescued me from the pound. I am very thankful to them for that. You see when they brought me home, I had this little problem of taking things I knew I wasn't supposed to have, like brushes, pens, whatever I could get my mouth on. When mom and dad came to get them, I got really nasty, growling, showing my teeth and snapping. With a lot of work and some showing who was the
boss I got over it. Then the baby was born. I really loved him. He is now 2 and loves to love me. Pets, me, doesn't pull on anything, just likes to hug and pet. Well lately anytime the "baby" comes near me, and mom and dad aren't home, I have been snapping at him and showing my teeth and aggression. I have got his skin in my mouth once, didn't break it. I don't know why I am doing this, but Mom and Dad are scared for the baby and don't know what to do with me. Can you help
them out so they don't end up giving me away? They love me very much but they also love their 2 year old son and I am sure he is going to win. Thanks for your help. Sincerely,
Griffey
Dear Griffey,
Okay buddy, I understand you don't want your parents to give you away. But, here's the thing: you can't be left alone with the baby until he is older. Your parents can never trust you with him. They need to understand that you are a dog that will take charge if the humans don't. You need to clearly understand your place in the pack order. The baby can't establish his place over you and he can't be in charge because he is too small. Heck, in your eyes, he isn't even
a human yet. He's just another small animal that you need to be in charge of. If you are to remain a part of your family, then your parents have to always be in the room with you and the baby. You have clearly learned your place with them. They have done a good job of relieving you of the job of being "in charge". But, again, the baby can't do this. Only your parents can at this point. I hope they can do what you need because it sounds like everyone would like to keep the
pack (or family as humans like to call it) together. But, if they can't do what you need (and it won't be an easy task), they should find you a family with parents who can be the bosses don't have children who are younger than 10 or 12. That way, you can clearly read who is in charge and will not feel you need to be. Good luck, Griffey, and let me know what happens.
AbbeyJack
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Abbey:
I'm back in your office! Well, remember what I said about the classes in the spring? Anyways, my mom found a really fun class (at least to her) that's called agility class. What is the heck is it? Will it be good for me? I"m really hyper and I love to chase balls. I guess Mom figured that by doing it will keep us busy outside besides tennis balls. I want to see what's going on agility classes and how can this help me. Oh yes, now I'm much, much
better behaved! I finally got the command down (lie down) last week!!!! I'm sooo excitied. We worked on this for couple month now. So, how should I know if agility classes are for me?????
Tara Puppy Honey Dear Tara,
Silly puppy, how could they NOT be for you! You get to run around AND learn things. You have a cool Mom. Have a great time and keep us all posted! Oh, and congratualtions on "down". That's a tough one, yes? Who wants to do that when she can run around? Good job.
AbbeyJack
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